When I started this blog, I knew it needed to be an honest account of my health and fitness journey. Honest. Even when being honest isn’t fun. I feel that a huge part of my success as a personal trainer is that I am still a work in progress. I have been overweight, I have dealt with (and continue to deal with) so many of the issues that my clients face, and I can totally relate to them. Sometimes this makes me more sympathetic and sometimes it makes me more of a hard ass. Either way, I can relate on some level. I have used every excuse that I hear. Honesty is important because it makes me real.
So, here it is, let’s be honest. I am on a 17 day vacation. 17 days…that is a long time. Let me also mention that I am on the vacation of a lifetime, just me and my hubs traveling through Italy and Greece. It is seriously like a dream, and I could have never pictured it as amazing as it is. If you have been following my blog (if not, scroll down) you know that we’ve been working out here. Not as much as we would like, but working out is a part of our lifestyle and we are making an effort to keep that going while we are here. I have really been haing a hard time with the balance. I guess I didn’t realize how much of a control freak I’ve turned into throughout this process. I’m a routine girl. I miss my scheduled classes and my scheduled workouts…I miss being in control of everything I eat and knowing exactly how much olive oil, salt, etc has been used in what I’m eating.
We ate amazing food in Italy, and although we had some splurges, we made some really good choices. Normally, I log my food and hit my calories everyday with clean eating. I only drink on the weekends (unless there is a special occasion), and I am very disciplined and regimented…that’s what works for me. I have not logged a single calorie since I’ve been here, and let’s be honest, I’ve enjoyed my fair share of wine and gelato (and I even found gluten free pasta). I was hoping to just give myself a break and be a “normal person”. Our splurges have been NOTHING in comparison to what the old me would do.
Miles and I went on a gorgeous run one morning in Rome, and I felt some jiggling in places that don’t normally jiggle…GROSS!! I’m glad I experienced Italian wine and gelato, but I have been feeling really bad about my body in the last few days, and the whole body image thing is starting to spiral out of control. I have even been hating all the pictures we’ve been taking because I feel soft and gross. I’ve been repeating to myself “fat is not a feeling, fat is not a feeling”. Then when we got home tonight, I read Tosca Reno’s blog post. If you don’t know who she is, she wrote all the “Eat Clean” books, and she’s a famous health and fitness writer. She just lost her famous health and fitness publisher husband to cancer and she is training for a fitness competition in his honor. Her trainer, the famous Rita Catalino, is on a month vacation to Europe and this is what she said:
“As a side note, an important message keeps popping up in my head as I let myself unwind a bit – BALANCE – something both Tosca and I share, and believe so strongly about. The balance of fitness, lifestyle, family life and rest is so important and is what creates long lasting effects and success. Fitness needs to be integrated into you real life – when you separate the two, one becomes a job or a chore, instead of being an integral part of who you are. Walking 12 hours around Paris yesterday, and not moaning or wanting to stop, is a positive reminder of my fit lifestyle and how it affects me in so many wonderful ways. Nutrition plays that same integral role. I am not thinking fish, asparagus, 15 almonds (as I do for a shoot or show) – but rather, fresh seafood over French fries, fresh fruit over croissant, and 1 macaron from La Douree instead of a box (which is what the former me would have done). ”
I read this at the perfect time. Time to not be quite so hard on myself. Time to clean up the eating and drink less wine, but also work to find the balance. I will be back on my schedule on Sunday, and I need to sit back and enjoy this amazing experience. I need to look at the amazing pictures we are taking and focus on the beautiful scenery and not obsessing about what my arm is or isn’t doing. It’s all about BALANCE!