As you know, I’ve battled with my weight/body image my whole life. Last August, I hit the 50 pound mark, finally reaching my goal. So, that’s it, right? I hit my goal, I’m happy, I’m confident, no more body image issues, no more portion control problems…if only it worked like that!!!! On most days, I feel good, I feel healthy and strong, and I’m proud of my journey. Of course there are other days where it is still a battle (a few of those days happened to be last week). The key for me is that I’m aware that I am still working through all the shit, and I am in control of how I treat myself and how I react to those feelings. I also have people that hold me accountable, and let’s be honest, this blog holds me accountable. Last week was not great for me, and then in my inbox was a blog post that put it all in perspective.
One of the fitness community leaders in Charleston, Elli Boland, recently started a blog that I love called www.fuckyeahsistas.wordpress.com. (I love her love for the f bomb, it’s awesome.) She is a holistic coach, and she’s really inspirational. More than anything, she’s REALLY real, and she doesn’t hold anything back. She also has an awesome German accent. This is Elli. Isn’t she adorable and fun? Don’t you want to be her friend?
Anyway, one of her post lasts week really spoke to me when I was not in a great place. I think you should read the whole thing, but here’s a little excerpt.
“when the body is out of shape, overweight, or unhealthy, it is really an uncomfortable experience. i do know that, and it seems real in that moment. ‘fat’ is not a feeling, but i often thought it should be, just because it felt so real at times. but for many women that are at a healthy weight it is truly a lie.
and if your body is overweight, how does calling it horrible names actually help? how does picking ourselves apart change our behaviors, or inspire us to do something about it? every negative thought we think, every critical word we speak, affects every cell of our being. it destroys joy, it ruins fun and it distracts us from living our full potential and our lives to the fullest.
disassociate from being this body. we are not our bodies. we are not our minds, we are not our job, we are not the number on the scale or the size of our clothes…have that talk with yourself often. change from ‘i am sick’ to ‘my body is sick’. from ‘i am out of shape’ to ‘my body is out of shape’. let’s notice the difference!”
Here’s the whole post.
It really is crazy how mean we can be to ourselves. I’m gonna keep the blog post nearby and reread it regularly BECAUSE SHE IS RIGHT.